so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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