Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
