The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Randomize