Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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