so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
