Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
