i barfeds in our rink
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
