I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
