We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have aggressive nipples.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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