can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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