Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you told grandpa to call you daddy
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
