Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
