I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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