problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
