another moral hangover. fuck.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
