ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize