i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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