I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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