I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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