And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
