Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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