He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
