You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
