Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize