I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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