Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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