when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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