This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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