I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
