just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
