I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
