She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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