he wants to bone in the snuggie
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
God I need to hump something, right now.
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