Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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