4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
