new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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