The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
