your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
