you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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