she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
