Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
