Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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