she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
