my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
