respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
