I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
