Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I need a beard to bite.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
