would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
