She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
