I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
