dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
