Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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