What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
