Where is the hickey?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
this hospital has no fireball
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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