First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
