Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
