I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
