Will you blow on my dice?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
