well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
