have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
