I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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