I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'd cum for enchiladas.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
