____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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