They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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