You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize