my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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