I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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