Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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